The Ultmate All Purpose Excuse #12

The day I was late for school because I got eaten by a dolphin

   You will never be able to guess what happened to me this morning on my way to school. I WAS EATEN BY A DOPLHIN. And that’s why I’m all wet. I had to go feed the fish this morning like I do every Tuesday. If I don’t do it they will starve to death and I couldn’t let that happen. The problem was I had to walk to Jones Beach all the way from Massapequa because both of my parents cars broke down and I’m a lame 18 year old that can’t drive. It was a LONG WALK and I almost got ran over by a car on my way.

   When I finally got there I had to sneak into the beach because it was closed. Getting past security was very easy because they were all asleep. I ran too the beach, into the ocean and started swimming. I gave food to every fish that I passed by. I had to make sure that each fish was getting the same amount or else that wouldn’t be fair. But what I didn’t know was that I fed a dolphin the wrong food on accident and he was ticked off. I started swimming away as fast as I could but the dolphin was following me. He eventually caught up with me and ATE ME WHOLE. I was petrified!

   I was lounging around in his stomach for an hour. He told me that I didn’t taste very good but he was hungry. I then suddenly had a good idea, to befriend the dolphin! The dolphin and I had a nice causal conversation about pollution. I told him that if he threw me up I would bring him food tomorrow. He said okay, and I was free. It was pretty disgusting actually but I was glad to finally be out of there. I gave the dolphin a hug and was on my way to school. I had to walk all the way back and that’s why I was late.